The Italian Way

Do’s and Don’ts of Italian Etiquette

There’s no denying that an Italian lifestyle is an enviable one. In the latest 2023 study, Italy is ranked number one as the healthiest country in the world to live. An active lifestyle and a diet rich in vegetables and olive oil means better cholesterol and overall well-being.

Whether in Rome, a Tuscan hilltop town, or the tiny island of Ortigia, there are markets with the best fresh produce, cheap prices and wonderful opportunities to engage and socialise. Did you know that you never touch the fruit - or any produce for that matter. Just point. Total immersion into a different culture is why we love to travel, so it’s important to understand what is polite and respectful.

What you need to know about drinking coffee like an Italian

For something so simple, it can be difficult for a foreigner to navigate the rules. Italians have been consuming coffee since the 16th century, when Venetians started importing the beans from abroad.

But it was in the 20th century that coffee really took off in Italy, with the introduction of the espresso machine in 1901 and Alfonso Bialetti’s invention of the iconic stovetop moka coffee pot in 1933.

Since then, Italy has become famous for its coffee culture, but this rich tradition comes with a set of rules that can trip up the uninitiated.

• A cappuccino or caffe latte are strictly breakfast drinks to accompany your cornetto or pastry. Order one of these after 10 or 11am and you are obviously a tourist. Having warm milk on a full stomach is said to mess with digestion. Never order a latte unless you want a glass of milk and forget about ordering a half strength caffe latte with almond milk or an extra hot cappuccino.

• If you want an espresso, order un caffe. For Italians, coffee is an espresso.

• One size fits all. There are no small, medium or large options unless you’re at an airport or train station.

• The Italian way is to drink your coffee al banco, standing at the bar, which will be quarter of the price compared to sitting down, particularly if the cafe is in a popular street or piazza. You must first pay at the cash desk and then take your receipt to the counter.

• Take away coffee is almost unheard of, as is walking and eating. The only exception is gelato.

Less drinking

Despite being in the land of aperitivo and endless varieties of very affordable wine from the supermercato, Italians don’t drink a lot. In a country that makes more wine than any other country in the world, this may be surprising. It’s not because Italians don’t love wine, but they enjoy it in smaller, sophisticated amounts, with meals.

Table etiquette

• Italians do not eat pasta with a spoon and fork, just a fork and NEVER cut your pasta with a knife.

• Requesting parmesan (parmigiano) for pasta is a sin. If not offered, don’t ask.

• Bread is almost always brought to the table and is included in the coperto (cover charge). It is not meant to be devoured before your meal, but to accompany your pasta, perfect for those delicious pasta sauces. Never dip your bread in olive oil. That is not an Italian thing.

• Tap water is never served to the table. Restaurants only serve bottled water with a choice of naturale or frizzante.

• Pizza is served unsliced because it’s better for presentation and flavour, preventing the runny pizza topping from leaking off the pizza base and wetting the edges. It also minimises the risk of the pizza cooling down quickly.

• Generally Italians eat pizza with a knife and fork because traditional pizza toppings can be very runny and it’s hot to pick up in your fingers, although for the edges that’s fine.

• Tipping is not a big part of Italian culture, but it is a nice gesture to leave a few euros or round up the bill if you’ve enjoyed the meal and had great service.

• While smoking has been banned in bars and restaurants since 2005, it is still permitted at outdoor tables.

Hands speak louder than words

It is estimated that Italians commonly use around 250 gestures. You’re not really speaking Italian if you are not using your hands. One of Italy’s best known hand gestures involves touching your fingers and thumb together and shaking your hand in front of your face. It expresses disbelief, frustration and disagreement and can be interpreted as “What do you want?” or “Are you serious?”

To express gratitude for a great meal, put five fingertips together and bring them to your mouth for a symbolic kiss.

Communication etiquette

It is not essential to speak Italian, but it is a sign of respect to learn a few key words and phrases for which you will be well rewarded because Italians love it when foreigners make an effort. And it’s so much fun to speak Italian, even if you get it wrong!

• Simple words that make all the difference are: please - per favore; thank you - grazie; my name is - mi chiamo; pleased to meet you - piacere.

• Practice correct pronunciation with Google Translate.

• When meeting a stranger or entering a shop or restaurant, it is polite to say buongiorno up to around 4:00pm (varies from north to south) and buonasera after 4:00pm. When leaving you should always say arrivederci.

• Ciao can mean hello and goodbye, but it is an informal greeting used between friends.

Dress Code

Italians have an innate sense of style and dress quite simply. Clothing that is too revealing is considered bad taste. You rarely see Italian women wearing shorts in the summer and activewear is for the gym only.

Italy is of course full of churches, many of which contain world famous works of art. There are hidden gems, some of which are easy to miss because of a relatively plain exterior, but the interior can be extraordinary and unexpected. As a sign of respect shoulders should be covered, so always carry a light scarfe in your bag.

Several Italian destinations have become quite strict with how tourists dress when wandering around town. Last year the mayor of Sorrento banned walking around the centre in swimwear. Lipari, the largest of Sicily’s Aeolian islands, has a similar rule. In both cases, you can be fined. In Venice sightseeing in swimwear can also result in a fine of up to 500 euro.

Ci vediamo la prossima settimana,

Deb